Real Confidence Doesn’t Diminish Others

As leaders, we’ve all encountered individuals who tear others down, often with subtle jabs cloaked in professionalism or overt displays of arrogance masked as authority. But let’s call it what it is: projection.

At the heart of leadership is emotional intelligence, and emotionally intelligent leaders recognize a fundamental truth. People who genuinely feel good about themselves do not feel the need to make others feel bad about themselves. It is not in their nature because true confidence is quiet, secure, and inclusive.

When someone is operating from a place of wholeness, they are not in competition with the people around them. They are not threatened by others’ growth, brilliance, or presence. In fact, they want to lift others because they know that empowering others does not dim their own light. It amplifies it.

So when someone criticizes unfairly, undermines, or belittles others in a professional space, it is not a reflection of the person being targeted. It is a mirror revealing something unresolved within the one doing the harm. Insecurity. Envy. Fear of inadequacy. A bruised ego. Projection is a defense mechanism, and when you know better, you do not internalize it. You observe it.

As leaders, we set the tone for culture. It is our job to protect psychological safety, not just by promoting respect, but by modeling it. That means calling out toxic behavior when we see it, even when it is dressed up in performance reviews, leadership meetings, or everyday interactions. It means choosing the high road and helping others find their way back when they have lost sight of who they are and why they lead.

And let’s be honest. Hurting people hurt people. But healed people heal people. Whole people elevate others. Let that be the leadership legacy you build.

Let us lead from fullness, not fear. And remember, true power never has to prove itself.

Leadership in Practice | What You Can Do Today

1. Audit Your Leadership Style
   Take a moment this week to reflect on your interactions. Are you leading from security or projection? Self-awareness is the first step to impactful leadership.

2. Uplift Someone Today
   Intentionally affirm a colleague or team member whose efforts often go unnoticed. Watch how one act of kindness can shift the energy of an entire room.

3. Create Space for Emotional Check-ins
   At your next team meeting, start with a quick check-in that invites authenticity. Making space for real connection fosters trust and safety.

4. Model Respect and Emotional Maturity
   Set the standard by addressing toxic behavior directly and professionally. Be the leader who protects the dignity of others.

5. Commit to Personal Growth
   Engage in coaching, journaling, or learning opportunities that help you lead from a place of wholeness, not fear or ego.

6. Share the Message
   If this message resonated with you, forward it to another leader. Let’s build a culture where true confidence leads and projection has no place.